Sheriff Andy and Deputy Barney were out at Clyde’s farm. Clyde reported his horse, Big Red, was gone. He thought of it as stolen. Andy agreed with him right off. Barney wasn’t so sure and said so.

“Now, wait a minute. Let’s not jump to conclusions here. Sure, it looks like a case of horse theft but let’s run all the possibilities first.”

“Barney, the horse is gone and the door is closed and booted. The horse was stolen,” replied Sheriff Andy. “Lessen that horse is smart enough to open this here door, then close it back up and bolt it just to throw us off the trail . I’d say we’ve purty much used up all the possibilities, wouldn’t you?”

Well, I was just sayin’ to look at all the possibilities, that’s all.”

They got in the car and headed back to Mayberry. Barney thought that since Andy was the sheriff that he, Deputy Barney, ought to be doing the driving. Andy, being the sheriff and knowing how Barney drives, thought otherwise. As they went down Main Street they saw Otis staggering along, bouncing off buildings and walking with one shoe on and the other in his pocket. Perfectly normal. Then, Barney wanting to get back in Andy’s good graces, approached Otis.

“Oh, hello, Barney.”

“Say there, Otis, that’s a pretty good brand of whiskey you got there. Where’d you get the money for it. Sell a horse?”, Barney asked.

“Jeez, Barney, you’ve really gone off the deep end if you think Otis stole that horse. He’d never be able to do that.”

“Thash right. I never stolt no horsh. I stole thish whishkey but-”

“Otis, that’s allright. You go on in and go to sleep”, Andy told him.

“Andy, I still think we ought to arrest him for public drunkenness.”

“Now, why do that. I’d place him under arrest and then put him in jail. That’s where he is and no paper work..”

“Hey, Andy! Hey, Barney! Surprise, surprise, surprise!”

It was Gomer Pyle. What was he doing here. He’d left to join the Marines. Andy asked him that.

“Well, Andy, my sergeant, Sergeant Carter, he says to me, ‘Pyle’, that’s what he always call me, ‘Pyle’, like he always calls Davis ‘Davis’ and-”

“ We get the picture, Gomer.”

“Yea, well, he says to me, ‘Pyle, the best thing you could do for your country and the Marines is go back to Mayberry and never leave there. So, here I am. Surprise, surprise, surprise!”

"Ah, Gome, I think your Sergeant Carter was just funnin you,” Said Andy.

“No sir, Andy, he was real mad when he said it. He wernt funnin me nohow.”

“Gomer, trust me. Go back.”

“Well, if you think I oughta.”

“Well, hey Opie. You need to run right along home. It’s pert near time for lunch. Aunt Bea sure does some mighty f-i-i-i-n-e cookin,” Andy says to Opie.

“Uh, ah. um O.K., Pa.”

“ Anything wrong there , OP?”

“No, Pa, why’s you say that?”

“ I reckon cause I’m your Pa. You might want to take a bath too. You smell like shit. You smell like horse shit. Son, did you steal a horse? Now, don’t lie to me. I’m your Pa.”

“ I didn’t steal him. I borrowed him. I was gonna take him back but we fell off the old cliff and I grabbed a root but the horse didn’t.”

“ Well, you told me the truth. That’s good. Your a horse thief, that’s bad. Pick a branch.”

“ Oh, come on , Andy, I mean a switch for a swat is one thing. A branch for a beatin another,” Barney said.

“ Beatin’? I ain’t a gonna beat mahown boy. What's the matter with you? He ‘s a horse thief, though. I gotta hang him.”